Category: Uncategorized

Let me start by saying this; making the decision to leave my full-time position was difficult not only because of the state of things right now in the world but also for very personal reasons. Those who know me personally know that I am the type of women that always likes to be bringing in her own “bag” so to speak. However, as I told you ladies, I am keeping it real on this blog so I wanted to share with you this huge transition that has taken place in my life.

Prior to the outbreak of Covid-19 I made the decision that my current full-time position was nearing its expiration date. This was due to a few reasons but the largest of which was my work schedule. As I’ve mentioned before, my work schedule was 11-8 on Sundays and 12-9 Mondays through Thursdays. The schedule was one that never really fit the needs of my family. Not only was the schedule not ideal for my family and I but I also did not enjoy the position I was in. Lets just say I never really thought I would ever be working in a call center as a debt collector.

Needless to say, I initially accepted the position because I had heard great things about the company, the benefits and the opportunities for advancement . That brings me to my first piece of advice:

*** Accept the job for the position you are hired for; NOT the possibility for the position or anything about the position to change in the future.

Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t have goals of advancement or that you shouldn’t accept a position as a stepping stone to a position you really want. What I am saying is that you should do an honest assessment of where you are in your life, what other obligations you have and put a real timeline on how long you realistically think you can stay in that position, especially if its a position you know is not the best fit for you from the start. You should at the very least be able to tolerate the position you were originally hired for while you wait to be able to move up. My problem is that I knew; although I have excellent customer service skills, that I would HATE having to call people to collect money. However, I took the position anyway because I thought the possibility of being able to change positions and my schedule down the line was great enough for me to deal with those things in the first place. I was wrong.

Once the Covid-19 pandemic struck, my struggles with the position and the hours were magnified. I struggled even more with calling people or having to try to collect money from people who had just been furloughed or laid off. I struggled with the lack of options that were available to the customers in terms of assistance during that time. I struggled with being yelled at or cursed at throughout the day by upset customers. When we originally went to work-from-home status I was excited that I would be home during the day even though I would still be working all day I would atleast be able to see my boys on my breaks. However, the work-from-home status presented its own challenges. My husband, who was also working from home, was unable to adequately perform the tasks of his job because my job required me to be logged into a phone and computer from 12-9 almost everyday. Not only was he unable to do his work like he needed but he was carrying the weight of the family responsibilities as throughout the entire day as well. Although I was home, it was almost as if I wasn’t really there at all. We knew something had to give.

Originally we were both okay with waiting it out until I was able to move to another department or at the very least get some better hours. Nonetheless, with the pandemic and the uncertainty of how long things would be this way, the possibility of a shift change or moving to a completely different department or position had decreased to almost zero thus extending the timeline for how long I would have to endure a schedule and role I was miserable in.

Even with all this you would think that the decision to resign would be easy but it wasn’t; I struggled with the decision to to leave my position. I struggled with leaving a steady paycheck during a time when millions of people were out of work by no choice of their own. I struggled with no longer bringing in my own steady income to contribute financially to my family and to growing my business. So why then; might you ask. did I finally decide to resign?

The answer itself is actually simpler than I originally made it out to be. If there is one thing I have learned from this pandemic it is that life is short (not that I didn’t know that before). Too short to be miserable working a job you hate for a paycheck that your family can survive without. Too short for me to spend entire days locked in a room and missing quality time with my boys. On average I would spend maybe 4-5 hours a day with my boys on the days I had to work because they would both be sleep by the time I got off from work (even less prior to the pandemic when I was physically going to the office). All in all the paycheck wasn’t worth what I had to sacrifice to get it.

I chose my happiness, I chose my peace of mind, I chose my family,

Now you might be thinking, “that seems rash and maybe even irresponsible, especially during this time.” But as I mentioned before this was something I was planning to do before Covid-19. Additionally, I did not make this decision without first evaluating whether the needs and wants of my family were going to continue to be met without the income I was bringing in from my full-time job. I did not make the decision without considering all the affects my doing so would have.

If you find yourself in a place where you are working a job you don’t like and want a way to reclaim your happiness and your time I would encourage preparing yourself to be able to make that transition. It is most certainly not a easy transition to make. However, I will say that as soon as I submitted my resignation it was like a weight had been lifted off of me. I felt free. I felt at peace with the decision and I knew that everything would work out.

Here are the the four main things I would encourage you do if you ever find yourself at this place in your life and career:

1.) Pray on it

Ultimately we know who our real provider is. I found myself feeling so anxious about letting go of a paycheck just because of the false sense of security it provided. God has ALWAYS provided for me. I knew that it was time for me to move on, I knew God was calling me from a place of comfort and dependence on something other than him. I knew that he was telling me it was time and that I needed to trust him. But I say this to say, pray before you leap. Speak with God, express your fears as him for discernment, as him for guidance and ask him for peace.

2.) Save some coin:

We know who our provider is but that doesn’t mean that we don’t prepare. I started saving when I originally decided my time at my job was approaching its expiration. When I finally did resign I had over 3 months worth of my salary saved. I would definitely encourage having enough money saved to sustain your bills and necessities for at least 2-3 months (longer if possible) BEFORE you resign. Having that money saved will allow you to still handle your financial obligations without stress. Also it will help you look for a position that is RIGHT for you without feeling pressured into accepting the first offer that comes your way out of desperation.

3.) Speak with those who will be directly impacted by your decision:

Nothing I do now is a decision made in isolation. I am a wife and mother and everything I do is looked at through the lens of how it will impact my family. I talked this over EXTENSIVELY with my husband and made sure that we were both on the same page. By the time I had put in my resignation we had weighed the pros and cons of this decision repeatedly. We finally agreed that it was the best decision for our family and that; not in spite of but largely because of everything, it was also the right time for this transistion as well.

4.) Know what you want your next move to be, Plan Ahead:

Although I did not have another job lined up I did have a plan. I had been setting the ground work to be able to dive full-time into my own business which I was struggling to find the time to invest in due to my schedule. I had been wanting the time to really get things off the ground and both my husband and I felt that this was the perfect time to do so.

I say all of this to say that it is not easy to leave a job, a source of income; regardless of how much you might dislike it. But what I will say is if you are constantly sacrificing your peace of mind, and missing out on the things that are most important to you for a paycheck; you are getting the short end of the deal and something has got to give.

As always don’t be afraid to do what needs to be done but always make sure you have properly prepared for what is to follow. Don’t get married to a false sense of security like I did. We tend to endure so much for a company and a paycheck like those things are secure; they are not and Covid-19 has shown us this.

Family, Health, Happiness, Peace of Mind…these are the things we live for. These are the things that matter most. Stay blessed babes!

Ok ladies so I did not intend for this to be the first “official” post I wrote but after the day I had today…its much needed. As some of you may know, I am a full-time working mother of two (a boy mom to be exact) and a wife. My youngest son just turned 1 a couple of months ago. For those who know me personally its no secret that I do not love my full-time job but it is a means to fund my personal business so for right now its necessary. Working full-time and being a mom is no easy life (shout out to all my working mamas). Now as if being a working mother isn’t challenging enough, I just had to go and complicate things even further with my dreams and aspirations. My full-time schedule consists of one 11-8 PM day and four 12-9 PM days. Yet I decided to start my own business. That right! You read correctly I am an entrepreneur and one that is in the very beginning phases of building her business. What made me decide to start my own business while my plate was already overflowing you ask? I’ll tell you why. I was tired of sitting on the sidelines; unfulfilled at work, lacking passion and obsessively following the journeys of women I followed on social media platforms who were trading in their unfulfilling lives and going for the lives they really wanted. They seemed to be living the life I aspired to have. I’ll be honest there were many reasons I decided entrepreneurship was for me. I wanted to take back my time, I wanted to be more present at home, I wanted to feel like I was walking in my purpose. So I finally decided to do it. I was tired of sitting on the sidelines. I was ready to be like so many of the moms and other women I followed on social media who were starting and growing their purpose filled businesses. So I became a “mompreneur”.

But can I be honest for a minute? I’m a little disappointed. These “mompreneurs” made it look so easy. They made it seem like they were living their best lives, creating their own schedules, spending more time with their families, creating generational wealth (I mean who wouldn’t want in if thats the life you’re selling, right?). But the reality is, entrepreneurship is hard; but “mompreneurship” is harder. I am pulling back the curtain because its not all cute and curated social media posts; its being interrupted 20 times throughout the day when you are simply trying to put together your new blog page.

Today was a rough day for me. I had set out with the goal to get so much accomplished for my business. I took the day off from my full-time job to invest time into my business. I had a list of things I wanted to complete by the end of the day; one being setting up my new blog page. Yet here I am 20 minutes to 9pm FINALLY writing my first post (on an entirely different topic than originally intended might I add). I was not able to edit my website, send marketing e-mails, create content or any of the other necessary tasks to grow my business because the “mom” part of “mompreneur” always takes precedence. I have to break for every tantrum, nap time, lunch time, play time, “I’m crying just because you won’t pick-me up” time, dinner time. And before I knew it the entire day had got away from me because the “mom” comes first.

Its hard being a mom, working, being a wife; feeling like you seldom get time to yourself for yourself but throw building a business and there and its insanity. I wanted to have a honest moment and let you all know the truth about being a working mom trying to build a business at the same time. I may post pretty pictures and although I LOVE building my own business, its not easy. Its not always as pretty as the pictures I post. Its late late late nights and early mornings. Its a jam packed schedule with just cracks to fit my self-care routine into. Its wanting to pull my hair out multiple times a day because I cannot hear myself think. Its days of feeling completely defeated because all I was able to do was give to my time and energy to those around me while my business got nothing. Its moments of wanting to give up and sink back into the comfortable place that lacks passion and purpose. But most importantly, its deciding to go at it again and again and again in spite of all of that. I’m not saying “mompreneurship” (I know it isn’t a real word) isn’t worth it because it is I’m just being honest about the very real struggles we mompreneurs face.

Hello There! My name is Nakia Young-EL and I am so thrilled that you’ve taken a moment to check out my new blog page. I’ll be honest this is probably like the fourth time I’ve set out on the journey of starting my own blog but this time I’m confident I’ll follow through. The name of my blog is the” Young LifestyEL” (puns intended); I am Mrs. Young-EL and this is a lifestyle blog. Truthfully, I am not quite sure what this will turn in to but for right now it will serve as my public diary. A chronicle of my life as a wife, mother, and budding entrepreneur. I want to share my struggles and my wins throughout my journey to create for myself (and my family) a life that I love. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my life, my husband, my children; but there are certainly things I would love to change (my 12-9pm full-time work schedule to name just one). So, my goal is to be transparent,to be open, honest, vulnerable and to hopefully find my tribe in the process. If you are a mompreneuers, wifepreneurs, or a woman that is simply ready to shake things up and design a life you love this blog is for you. I want to talk about everything from marriage to motherhood, from fashion to finance, from beauty to business. I mean ladies we have so much to talk about! Let this be a place where we all find support and sisterhood! Heres to happy living!